UNCLE CHRISTMAS

That here in the UK, our name for the man in the red coat who climbs down chimneys is Father Christmas. You might know him as Santa Clause but he’s one and the same person. There is no doubt that Father Christmas is extremely famous. But have you heard of his younger brother who goes by the name of Uncle Christmas ? Uncle Christmas has a fantastic apartment that overlooks the Pacific Ocean. They walked back to it, occasionally looking enviously at the toned, keep fit fanatics, not just at the famous bodybuilders of Venice Beach, but the runners, surfers and cyclists. To be honest, neither of them had gone in for that sort of thing, even in their youth. Feasting and drinking Viking Honeyed Mead was more their style. When they got back, the kitchen elves prepared a fabulous dinner and served it on the balcony. It began with rolled herring imported from Scandinavia and was followed by beetroot soup, reindeer stake (don’t tell Rudolf), baked salmon, wild partridge, brussel sprouts, and of course Christmas Pudding, even though the month was October. They both love Christmas Pudding any time of the year, though I will tell you a secret – neither of them care much for turkey which is a New World sort of thing.“Every year, Christmas gets bigger and bigger,” he said, “and it starts earlier and earlier, which is great for business, but I’m not getting any younger and it’s hard, I admit, it is very hard.”“Well listen,” said Uncle Christmas. “How about this year we do a swap? You spend Christmas here by the beach – it’s simply gorgeous as you can see – and I’ll take care of the pressies.” Father Christmas shook his snowy head. “That’s very kind of you, and thank you for your offer, but the children’s gifts are a big responsibility. Above all, they are my responsibility. The buck stops with me, my name is on the gift label, and if anything were to go wrong, it is my reputation on the line. So it’s tempting of course just to lie on the beach all December, but it’s just not possible.”Uncle Christmas was expecting a reply like this. He knew how uptight his brother was about getting the toys to the kids on time. He smiled and said, “Chill out bro, it will all be fine, I’ll take care of it.”Father Christmas shook his head. Uncle Christmas started to feel annoyed.
“You don’t trust me, do you? You don’t think I’m good enough. But I’m family. I’m your closest relative. If you can trust anyone, you can trust me.”